Our Keto Reset - Day 7

Day 7. Bacon. Keto Flu. Bloatitorium. Dehydration. Puking.

The day started out great. We got up about 7 AM. In retrospect, we should have gotten up earlier and walked. I'll explain later. Then I cooked a pound of bacon. We each had five glorious pieces. We saved the bacon grease and the rest of the bacon, except the one piece we gave to the dogs. Yes. One piece. And they looked pissed. I could almost see them saying, 'No one has leftover bacon, dad.'

Today's menu:

Breakfast: Bacon-Bacon-Bacon-Bacon-Bacon

Mid Morning: None.

Lunch: Me: 2 1/3rd pound cheddar bacon burgers with tomato, onion in a lettuce wrap and a scosh of ketchup.

Yvonne: 1 1/3rd pound of cheddar bacon burger with tomato, onion in a lettuce wrap and a scosh of curry ketchup

Afternoon: Nothing

Dinner: Me: Three egg and havarti omelet

Yvonne: Leftovers from the Bottom round and mushrooms.

By 9 AM I was feeling like I'd just been rolled by a marching band and left in a ditch. I lost all of my energy. Totally gone and flatlined. I stayed on the couch until 11, when Yvonne had me run an errand with her. That sort of perked me up. I was able to get some writing done. Then I made lunch. I should NOT have had two burgers. The problem was that it was so messy that I ate it fast. We really didn't have the right kind of lettuce to make a wrap. We needed butter lettuce and we had romaine. Because I did eat it so fast, my stomach didn't register that I was full so I ate the other one and welcomed myself to the Bloatatorium. 

Using a pick axe and rope, I managed to climb my way back upstairs, where I did more work on my novel in progress. A few folks commented about my use of hominy the previous day on Facebook and I had to explain to them about math. It was all good. 

Mid-afternoon, Yvonne wanted to go for a walk. Sure. I strapped on my Suunto watch to keep track of distance, and HR, and V02 Max and other shit I don't know about. Then we hiked two miles and a half. Now, all day I'd probably had two glasses of ice tea and three or four sips of water. I read somewhere that on the Keto diet you really should drink 100 oz of water. Well, I didn't even have a fourth that much and got my HR up to 152 during part of the walk.

This was me in my new hat

What happened? I came home and started puking up pieces of cheddar bacon burgers with tomato, onion in a lettuce wrap and a scosh of ketchup. I felt like I was three hours in at a Frat Party. I was overheated. Whenever I drank water it would come right up. It took me about an hour to get right, during which I got to watch my football team go 0-4 and their second best linebacker get lost for the season. Oh joy.

Lessons I learned today. 

• Dude, you need to drink hella more water.
• Dude, you need to drink hella more water.
• Dude, give your damn dogs more than one piece of bacon.
• Dude, people don't have leftover bacon.
• Dude, eat slower so you know you are full.
• Dude, electrolytes are a thing.
• And finally, Dude, you need to drink hella more water. 

Total Weight Loss:

Weston: -5

Yvonne: -5