Can't figure out your own New Year's Resolution? Can't figure out how to improve your life? I've provided a list of some randomly sampled resolutions from the geniuses on Twitter. Pick one and it's yours:
- Have less hairy nipples and more hairy armpits
- Stop using my cat as an excuse for a boyfriend
- Avoid employing my strikingly-decent impression of Mickey Mouse's voice when having sex
- Never ask my drug dealer how her life has been recently unless I have an hour to spend hearing about it
- Randomly sew one sequin onto every piece of clothing I own
- To stop saying 'you go girl' outloud to myself
- Get me some of those C-Tate abs the ladies are so crazy about
- Learn brick laying? I've always fancied knowing but dunno if you actually have to become a bricklayer to learn?
- Figure out how to get into the secret tunnels under disney world
- Not to meet any girls online anymore and to actually see one in public
- Dedicate the whole year to bang a north korean chick, a scientologist and meet chuck bass
- Won't sit and do nothing from now on, will stalk people on Facebook instead.
- Don't sit with my phone on twitter all day, must try to stand every now and again
- Live like I'm dying; Get healthy physically & spiritually; Stop ppl pleasing; Dev a new perspective on life; Love
- Stop adding my own home made butter and cream to store-made donuts during the diet
- Put daily markings on my anti-social neighbour's car and house door till he leaves”
- Stop spitting in other people's drinks at parties
- Get my body waxed this year so I can wear a bikini at Walmart and make the website.
- Jump up and down every time I'm in the grocery store and make people refer to me as Pogo Man
- Stop speaking in an evil little voice whenever I get into an elevator.
And there you have it. 20 New Years Resolutions to try.
Choose them all
These are free for you to use.
Do you have any you want to add to the list?