ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Weston Ochse is a former intelligence officer and special operations soldier who has engaged enemy combatants, terrorists, narco smugglers, and human traffickers. His personal war stories include performing humanitarian operations over Bangladesh, being deployed to Afghanistan, and a near miss being cannibalized in Papua New Guinea. His fiction and non-fiction has been praised by USA Today, The Atlantic, The New York Post, The Financial Times of London, and Publishers Weekly. The American Library Association labeled him one of the Major Horror Authors of the 21st Century. His work has also won the Bram Stoker Award, been nominated for the Pushcart Prize, and won multiple New Mexico-Arizona Book Awards. A writer of more than 26 books in multiple genres, his military supernatural series SEAL Team 666 has been optioned to be a movie starring Dwayne Johnson. His military sci fi series, which starts with Grunt Life, has been praised for its PTSD-positive depiction of soldiers at peace and at war. Weston likes to be called a chaotic good paladin and challenges anyone to disagree. After all, no one can really stand a goody two-shoes lawful good character. They can be so annoying. It's so much more fun to be chaotic, even when you're striving to save the world. You can argue with him about this and other things online at Living Dangerously or on Facebook at Badasswriter. All content of this blog is copywrited by Weston Ochse.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

20 New Year's Resolutions for Those Who Don't Have Any

Can't figure out your own New Year's Resolution? Can't figure out how to improve your life? I've provided a list of some randomly sampled resolutions from the geniuses on Twitter. Pick one and it's yours:

  1. Have less hairy nipples and more hairy armpits
  2. Stop using my cat as an excuse for a boyfriend
  3. Avoid employing my strikingly-decent impression of Mickey Mouse's voice when having sex
  4. Never ask my drug dealer how her life has been recently unless I have an hour to spend hearing about it
  5. Randomly sew one sequin onto every piece of clothing I own
  6. To stop saying 'you go girl' outloud to myself
  7. Get me some of those C-Tate abs the ladies are so crazy about
  8. Learn brick laying? I've always fancied knowing but dunno if you actually have to become a bricklayer to learn?
  9. Figure out how to get into the secret tunnels under disney world
  10. Not to meet any girls online anymore and to actually see one in public
  11. Dedicate the whole year to bang a north korean chick, a scientologist and meet chuck bass
  12. Won't sit and do nothing from now on, will stalk people on Facebook instead.
  13. Don't sit with my phone on twitter all day, must try to stand every now and again
  14. Live like I'm dying; Get healthy physically & spiritually; Stop ppl pleasing; Dev a new perspective on life; Love
  15. Stop adding my own home made butter and cream to store-made donuts during the diet
  16. Put daily markings on my anti-social neighbour's car and house door till he leaves”
  17. Stop spitting in other people's drinks at parties
  18. Get my body waxed this year so I can wear a bikini at Walmart and make the website.
  19. Jump up and down every time I'm in the grocery store and make people refer to me as Pogo Man
  20. Stop speaking in an evil little voice whenever I get into an elevator.
And there you have it. 20 New Years Resolutions to try. 

Choose one. 

Choose them all

These are free for you to use.

Do you have any you want to add to the list?

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