It's so hard to know so much. Such a weighty responsibility. So from time to time I take time to give of myself to the FOWs of the world (Friends of Weston). This is a service I gladly do. And it's something that allows FOWs to be some of the smartest folks on the planet. Last night I offered my services on Facebook and I will now answer the following sixty-nine questions.
So here we go.
Bryan Thomas Schmidt What is the most true to life situation you've ever used in one of your novels?
Answer: The feeling of fear of a soldier about to go into combat.
Logan L. Masterson What is the airspeed of an unladen African Swallow?
Answer: It's difficult to measure the airspeed of an African Swallow because it's really a non-migratory species. The European Swallow, however, is more easily measured. A 54-year survey of 26,285 European Swallows captured and released by the Avian Demography Unit of the University of Capetown finds that the average adult European swallow has a wing length of 12.2 cm and a body mass of 20.3 grams. Because wing beat frequency and wing amplitude both scale with body mass,5 and flight kinematic data is available for at least 22 other bird species,6 it should be possible to estimate the frequency (f ) and amplitude (A) of the European Swallow by a comparison with similar species. With those two numbers, it will be possible to estimate airspeed (U).
Hank Garner Who is your favorite comic book character and why?
Answer: The original Captain Marvel- Mar-Vell. He was sent to watch Earth and ultimately defected to us. Even at a young age I realized how cool and right that was.
Frank Raymond Michaels Are your characters ever based on real people in your life?
Answer: Yes.
Rosefyre Flannery Have you ever visited Wickenburg, Arizona and why? Did you eat there and enjoy your visit?
Answer: Yes. To spend time with my son. We had steak at one of the places and it was pretty good.
Darren Mckeeman What does human flesh taste like?
Answer: A little more firmer than cat meat and less tangy than gerbil.
Jeanna Tendean What do you do to make yourself feel better when you're sad?
Answer: Say to myself the worst day in America is better than the best day in Afghanistan.
Ladonna Perkins What is one thing you regret doing in your life?
Answer: I don't have any regrets. The path I chose is what made me who I am today.
Geno Mortensen How did you meet Yvonne Navarro?
Answer: We met at the World Horror Convention in Denver in 2000.
Mark McLaughlin Who DID leave that cake out in the rain?
Answer: Christopher Golden.
S.D. Hintz What inspired you to write your current series?
Answer: The chance to merge military and the supernatural together was too cool to pass up.
Justin Schmid Can you eat just one Lays potato chip?
Answer: Duh... no!
David Wilson I had a dream where you were writing a novel for our O.C.L.T. series, and I wondered if there was any truth to it...
Answer: I dreamed I was getting a five figure advance for writing it.
Ashley Clayton Have you ever done any research on UFOs and the military's refusal to acknowledge their existence (ie Roswell and Wright Patt AFB?)
Answer: I began reading about Project Blue Book when I was ten and am still fascinated by it.
Jordan Baker How will you possibly answer all of these questions without selling your soul for eternal life in order to continue answering these questions?
Answer: The weight of my responsibility is immense.
Sunni Brock What's that on your shirt?
Answer: Dog smutz.
Stephen Kozeniewski My car won't start about 1 time in 24. Do you think it's an issue with the solenoid or the flywheel?
Answer: Neither, it's the orbiting aliens targeting you with their on-off clicker.
Sean Lewis What happened to the rednecks?
Answer: Theyre still there. The good thing is that even when they get a divorce they can still be cousins.
John D. Harvey What is your favorite handgun make and model? Would appreciate reasons for your choice if you have time/bandwidth.
Answer: Sig Saur P226. I put about 5,000 rounds through one and it stood up very well. Love the trigger pull and the weight of the barrel.
Martel Sardina Best concert you've ever been to?
Answer: Styx - Mister Roboto
Rob Meyer What is the scariest thing that has bitten you?
Answer: Brown Recluse Spider, three times on my knee cap. The skin in a four inch area necrotized and then sloughed off.
Danny Evarts What colour is angel piss?'
Answer: Chartreuse.
Mark Dunham They are making a movie about your life. Who do you want to play you in the movie?
Answer: They better hurry up or I'll have to play a grandfather.
Kristin Morris In a battle of the heavens, which pantheon/god would come out on top?
Answer: Melnibonean
Sean Ellis What does the Fox say?
Answer: REE REE REE REE REE REE REE REEE!
Rob Meyer Weston, you have just discovered your life is a work of fiction. Who wrote it? What genre is it? And who do you most want to have it as their favorite book? (I know, multiple questions, but I hope the question is interesting enough to make it worthwhile).
Answer: Quintin Tarantino. Gangster Bildungsroman. John Skipp.
Joe Miles Your life story is slated for production in '15. Who is going to play you and Yvonne?
Answer: Micheal Bein and Michelle Pfeiffer.
Rochelle Smith Who wins... Godzilla or the Kaijus, colossal monsters which have emerged from an interdimensional portal on the bottom of the Pacific Ocean.
Answer: Godzilla!
Scott Glener How did you get interested in cooking & gourmet food?
Answer: If I'm going to injest calories, I want to have only the best. Plus, before I met Yvonne all I could cook was nuggets and hot dogs. I had to learn to cook so I'd have value added.
Larry Meier Weston , have you any aspirations to write the screenplays for any film adaptations of your work?. Also, have you ever thought of making a great Dane a major character in your work, ala Dean Koontz?
Answer: I've already written screenplays adapting my work. Wesley Snipes almost did the movie based on my novel Blaze of Glory. Both Ghost and Goblin appeared as mutants in The Golden Thread.
Rob Meyer Duane Johnson comes to you asking you to coach him for Seal Team 666. He insists you take him someplace risky. Where do you take him?
Answer: Most dangerous place I have ever been Papua new Guinea.
Rob Meyer You wake up in the body of a living celebrity. Who is it?
Answer: Tarantino.
Rose Blackthorn Since you're a bit of a gourmand, I wonder... what's the worst thing you've eaten?
Answer: Hominy. I can't even get it past my teeth.
Rob Meyer If you could change one thing in the world, what would it be?
Answer: As hokey as it stands, world fucking peace.
Jay Chase Has the world ever gone matrix on you??? Where time slowed down, or you sped up and everything was preternaturally clear... Or even better have you ever seen the cat pass by twice, making you question 'all of it'???
Answer: I often think I'm a playtoy of the fickle Gods of Fate.
Jay Chase Or more apropos to reality... Have you ever had to suck down gas twice in one day????
Answer: No.
Rob Meyer Has the world ever gone matrix on you??? Where time slowed down, or you sped up and everything was preternaturally clear... Or even better have you ever seen the cat pass by twice, making you question 'all of it'??? (Damn it! Reboot guys, before he reads it!)
Answer: Yikes!
Bill Kuehl What is the life of meaning?
Answer: The answer of knowing.
Collie James What, and who inspired you to start writing? And what was your scariest battle? Oh, and do you ever get depressed about your writing and feel it's not good? Not saying it isn't, just wondering .
Answer: Reading so many bad published books and telling myself I could do better. An altercation with tribesmen in Papua New Guinea. Yes.
Bill Kuehl What novel or short story do you wish you had written?
Answer: Dune.
Catherine Bader Do you know who I really am???
Answer: No.
Carl Hose When are we getting a cookbook complete with photography that makes us drool?
Answer: Working on it.
Djuana Berlin How much wood would a wood chuck, chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?
Answer: Half a rick an hour.
David Gerrold Who sawed Courtney's boat?
Answer: Dean Grennell, but he cheated.
Kimberly K Stewart-Holmes What did u do when u was in the military? Are u still in the military?
Answer: Intelligence. Sort of.
Wendy Protagonist What did I miss?
Answer: 3/4s of the fun.
Chris Ansted When are you going write a book with Jeremy Robinson?
Answer: Who's that? HAHAHA.
Mikel Dornhecker Jr Have you killed a Zombie with a Train yet?
Answer: It's on my bucket list, right after ride a bull named Fu Manchu.
Bob Ford Well, brother, I'll ask my standard question... of your entire life... what's the strangest thing you've ever witnessed?
Answer: Two warring tribes on either side of the fairway of a Papua New Guinea Golf Course stop killing each other long enough for me and the rest of my foursome to play through. True story.
Denise Dumars So, is it REALLY possible to get red wine out of a white tablecloth?
Answer: Yes, baking soda and bleach.
Matthew Harper What rhymes with orange?
Answer: Orange.
Scott Virtes Where is Attila the Hun buried?
Answer: Grant's Tomb.
Nancy Holder Cavemen or astronauts?
Answer: Cavemen, always.
Maryelizabeth Hart Pluto -- still a planet?
Answer: Hell's yeah!
Morgan Griffith If you could ride Jules Verne's machine back through time, what year and place would you visit?
Answer: Probably sometime in the Dark Ages.
Jamey Philipp If you could ride Jules Verne's back through a machine, what machine would that be?
Answer: A Volkswagon.
.
Rick Hipson A food fight rages on in your fridge while you sleep. By warning there can be only one victor. Which food will prevail?
Answer: In my fridge, the Siracha mayo would win.
David Mariotte Are you Jimmy Ray?
Answer: No, but you should ask Jimmy Ray if he is me.
David Mariotte What is the best bear?
Answer: Any bear not chasing me.
And that my FOWs is a wrap. I'm sure by now your brain has swelled with all your new-found knowledge. Use it wisely.
Now go forth and take over the world!
So here we go.
Bryan Thomas Schmidt What is the most true to life situation you've ever used in one of your novels?
Answer: The feeling of fear of a soldier about to go into combat.
Logan L. Masterson What is the airspeed of an unladen African Swallow?
Answer: It's difficult to measure the airspeed of an African Swallow because it's really a non-migratory species. The European Swallow, however, is more easily measured. A 54-year survey of 26,285 European Swallows captured and released by the Avian Demography Unit of the University of Capetown finds that the average adult European swallow has a wing length of 12.2 cm and a body mass of 20.3 grams. Because wing beat frequency and wing amplitude both scale with body mass,5 and flight kinematic data is available for at least 22 other bird species,6 it should be possible to estimate the frequency (f ) and amplitude (A) of the European Swallow by a comparison with similar species. With those two numbers, it will be possible to estimate airspeed (U).
Hank Garner Who is your favorite comic book character and why?
Answer: The original Captain Marvel- Mar-Vell. He was sent to watch Earth and ultimately defected to us. Even at a young age I realized how cool and right that was.
Frank Raymond Michaels Are your characters ever based on real people in your life?
Answer: Yes.
Rosefyre Flannery Have you ever visited Wickenburg, Arizona and why? Did you eat there and enjoy your visit?
Answer: Yes. To spend time with my son. We had steak at one of the places and it was pretty good.
Darren Mckeeman What does human flesh taste like?
Answer: A little more firmer than cat meat and less tangy than gerbil.
Jeanna Tendean What do you do to make yourself feel better when you're sad?
Answer: Say to myself the worst day in America is better than the best day in Afghanistan.
Ladonna Perkins What is one thing you regret doing in your life?
Answer: I don't have any regrets. The path I chose is what made me who I am today.
Geno Mortensen How did you meet Yvonne Navarro?
Answer: We met at the World Horror Convention in Denver in 2000.
Mark McLaughlin Who DID leave that cake out in the rain?
Answer: Christopher Golden.
S.D. Hintz What inspired you to write your current series?
Answer: The chance to merge military and the supernatural together was too cool to pass up.
Justin Schmid Can you eat just one Lays potato chip?
Answer: Duh... no!
David Wilson I had a dream where you were writing a novel for our O.C.L.T. series, and I wondered if there was any truth to it...
Answer: I dreamed I was getting a five figure advance for writing it.
Ashley Clayton Have you ever done any research on UFOs and the military's refusal to acknowledge their existence (ie Roswell and Wright Patt AFB?)
Answer: I began reading about Project Blue Book when I was ten and am still fascinated by it.
Jordan Baker How will you possibly answer all of these questions without selling your soul for eternal life in order to continue answering these questions?
Answer: The weight of my responsibility is immense.
Sunni Brock What's that on your shirt?
Answer: Dog smutz.
Stephen Kozeniewski My car won't start about 1 time in 24. Do you think it's an issue with the solenoid or the flywheel?
Answer: Neither, it's the orbiting aliens targeting you with their on-off clicker.
Sean Lewis What happened to the rednecks?
Answer: Theyre still there. The good thing is that even when they get a divorce they can still be cousins.
John D. Harvey What is your favorite handgun make and model? Would appreciate reasons for your choice if you have time/bandwidth.
Answer: Sig Saur P226. I put about 5,000 rounds through one and it stood up very well. Love the trigger pull and the weight of the barrel.
Martel Sardina Best concert you've ever been to?
Answer: Styx - Mister Roboto
Rob Meyer What is the scariest thing that has bitten you?
Answer: Brown Recluse Spider, three times on my knee cap. The skin in a four inch area necrotized and then sloughed off.
Danny Evarts What colour is angel piss?'
Answer: Chartreuse.
Mark Dunham They are making a movie about your life. Who do you want to play you in the movie?
Answer: They better hurry up or I'll have to play a grandfather.
Kristin Morris In a battle of the heavens, which pantheon/god would come out on top?
Answer: Melnibonean
Sean Ellis What does the Fox say?
Answer: REE REE REE REE REE REE REE REEE!
Rob Meyer Weston, you have just discovered your life is a work of fiction. Who wrote it? What genre is it? And who do you most want to have it as their favorite book? (I know, multiple questions, but I hope the question is interesting enough to make it worthwhile).
Answer: Quintin Tarantino. Gangster Bildungsroman. John Skipp.
Joe Miles Your life story is slated for production in '15. Who is going to play you and Yvonne?
Answer: Micheal Bein and Michelle Pfeiffer.
Rochelle Smith Who wins... Godzilla or the Kaijus, colossal monsters which have emerged from an interdimensional portal on the bottom of the Pacific Ocean.
Answer: Godzilla!
Scott Glener How did you get interested in cooking & gourmet food?
Answer: If I'm going to injest calories, I want to have only the best. Plus, before I met Yvonne all I could cook was nuggets and hot dogs. I had to learn to cook so I'd have value added.
Larry Meier Weston , have you any aspirations to write the screenplays for any film adaptations of your work?. Also, have you ever thought of making a great Dane a major character in your work, ala Dean Koontz?
Answer: I've already written screenplays adapting my work. Wesley Snipes almost did the movie based on my novel Blaze of Glory. Both Ghost and Goblin appeared as mutants in The Golden Thread.
Rob Meyer Duane Johnson comes to you asking you to coach him for Seal Team 666. He insists you take him someplace risky. Where do you take him?
Answer: Most dangerous place I have ever been Papua new Guinea.
Rob Meyer You wake up in the body of a living celebrity. Who is it?
Answer: Tarantino.
Rose Blackthorn Since you're a bit of a gourmand, I wonder... what's the worst thing you've eaten?
Answer: Hominy. I can't even get it past my teeth.
Rob Meyer If you could change one thing in the world, what would it be?
Answer: As hokey as it stands, world fucking peace.
Jay Chase Has the world ever gone matrix on you??? Where time slowed down, or you sped up and everything was preternaturally clear... Or even better have you ever seen the cat pass by twice, making you question 'all of it'???
Answer: I often think I'm a playtoy of the fickle Gods of Fate.
Jay Chase Or more apropos to reality... Have you ever had to suck down gas twice in one day????
Answer: No.
Rob Meyer Has the world ever gone matrix on you??? Where time slowed down, or you sped up and everything was preternaturally clear... Or even better have you ever seen the cat pass by twice, making you question 'all of it'??? (Damn it! Reboot guys, before he reads it!)
Answer: Yikes!
Bill Kuehl What is the life of meaning?
Answer: The answer of knowing.
Collie James What, and who inspired you to start writing? And what was your scariest battle? Oh, and do you ever get depressed about your writing and feel it's not good? Not saying it isn't, just wondering .
Answer: Reading so many bad published books and telling myself I could do better. An altercation with tribesmen in Papua New Guinea. Yes.
Bill Kuehl What novel or short story do you wish you had written?
Answer: Dune.
Catherine Bader Do you know who I really am???
Answer: No.
Carl Hose When are we getting a cookbook complete with photography that makes us drool?
Answer: Working on it.
Djuana Berlin How much wood would a wood chuck, chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?
Answer: Half a rick an hour.
David Gerrold Who sawed Courtney's boat?
Answer: Dean Grennell, but he cheated.
Kimberly K Stewart-Holmes What did u do when u was in the military? Are u still in the military?
Answer: Intelligence. Sort of.
Wendy Protagonist What did I miss?
Answer: 3/4s of the fun.
Chris Ansted When are you going write a book with Jeremy Robinson?
Answer: Who's that? HAHAHA.
Mikel Dornhecker Jr Have you killed a Zombie with a Train yet?
Answer: It's on my bucket list, right after ride a bull named Fu Manchu.
Bob Ford Well, brother, I'll ask my standard question... of your entire life... what's the strangest thing you've ever witnessed?
Answer: Two warring tribes on either side of the fairway of a Papua New Guinea Golf Course stop killing each other long enough for me and the rest of my foursome to play through. True story.
Denise Dumars So, is it REALLY possible to get red wine out of a white tablecloth?
Answer: Yes, baking soda and bleach.
Matthew Harper What rhymes with orange?
Answer: Orange.
Scott Virtes Where is Attila the Hun buried?
Answer: Grant's Tomb.
Nancy Holder Cavemen or astronauts?
Answer: Cavemen, always.
Maryelizabeth Hart Pluto -- still a planet?
Answer: Hell's yeah!
Morgan Griffith If you could ride Jules Verne's machine back through time, what year and place would you visit?
Answer: Probably sometime in the Dark Ages.
Jamey Philipp If you could ride Jules Verne's back through a machine, what machine would that be?
Answer: A Volkswagon.
.
Rick Hipson A food fight rages on in your fridge while you sleep. By warning there can be only one victor. Which food will prevail?
Answer: In my fridge, the Siracha mayo would win.
David Mariotte Are you Jimmy Ray?
Answer: No, but you should ask Jimmy Ray if he is me.
David Mariotte What is the best bear?
Answer: Any bear not chasing me.
And that my FOWs is a wrap. I'm sure by now your brain has swelled with all your new-found knowledge. Use it wisely.
Now go forth and take over the world!
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