I Bitch-slapped the Universe with my Apocalypse Weird Book

I was asked to play in the Apocalypse Weird Sandbox and dove in head first.

What is Apocalypse Weird, you ask? 

From an article that appeared in The Guardian: "Think of an apocalypse, and Apocalypse Weird has it covered. Zombies? Yes of course. There’ s clearly a little inspiration from The Walking Dead here, but Apocalypse Weird takes things much further. Cannibal hordes, cities sinking beneath the waves, genetic mutants, electric fog, frozen arctic winds and gojira are the backdrop for this shared world, in which some dozen or more established indie authors are each creating a standalone book series."

You can read the full article here.  

The first book in the shared world is Red King, which is still available for free! You can get it here.

“The Red King is something of a literary seed, the first chapter in an innovative collaboration between bestselling indie authors that sees the creation of an entire world for them to play around in. The creators have ambitious plans for this sandbox series and there are a huge number of popular authors involved and already busy writing new episodes in a huge interconnected world. A clever viral marketing campaign has attracted readers like moths to a floodlight with the promise of something big…” ~ Eamon Ambrose, Eamo the Geek Reviews

And then came MY BOOK!

Book 1 of The Red Palm

Once a warning whispered to bad children, the Black Bishop is all too real. With armies of Black Monks to seek out new recruits and a select coterie of self-amputeed nuns, his power is spreading like a plague, both in the real world and in the astral plain.

The great windmills on the plains of Palm Springs are now home to the crucified; I-10 has been shut down and is used as an asphalt strip where 'the staked' live their last joyous hours in a chrysalises of pain; and in Cathedral City cutters try and outdo themselves, slashing and cutting into their skin in epic contests against each other.

The problem is that these people aren't being forced to do these things... they beg to do it… they ache to do it…

And things are only getting worse.

Notice it says Book 1. In this universe, each author will establish his or her area, the players and what's happening. Other authors can come in and write, taking over your piece of the sandbox. They can send you characters anywhere, do anything, be totally crazy. They can cause the troubles in your area to interact with the troubles in another area. There is no limit to the destruction one can do. After all, we're kids throwing sand in the air. How much fun is that.

At the very least get Nick Cole's Red King for free. You're crazy not to. Then pre-order mine. You can read all the books in whatever order you want. There is no order at this point. Or you can just read one. For those fans of mine who are completists, it's perfectly cool to just read my book and move on. The Apocalypse Weird gestapo will leave you alone. I know they will because I arranged it that way. 

If you're interested in getting Red Palm for the introductory price of 99 cents, you can grab it here.

How I Destroyed the World - A Day's Log

Upon writing the novel Red Palm for the Apocalypse Weird Universe I was asked how easy or hard it was to destroy the world. Here's my answer:

I'm an expert at breaking things. Just ask my parents. Or my grandparents. So when I was asked to destroy the world I hardly broke a sweat.I mean, look at me (if you could). I have scars all over my face. By the time I was five I had over a hundred stitches. I was a one kid demolition machine. God save you if you were anywhere near my wake.

So when I destroyed the world it went something like this.

Here's an average day.

7 AM - Woke up. Picked up dog poop. Watered the plants. Googled missile payloads on UAVs. Drank cofee and ate yogurt.

8 AM - Created  charismatic character that encourages people of all ages to self mutilate themselves as a sign of individual freedom. Lots of blood. Preaches like a traveling revivalist under a big tent with a rock band. Hmm. Maybe use this character later too. He's like the Good Rob Lowe but Evil.

10 AM - Commented on dog pictures on Facebook. Checked Twitter to see what Sam Sykes was doing. Googled random thoughts. Turns out that the The pleistocene epoch is the geological timer period which lasted from about 2,588,000 to 11,700 years ago, spanning the world's recent period of repeated glaciations. Google glaciations next.

1030AM - Brainstorm. I decided I want giant worms to eat people and things. A montage of Tremors footage flashed through my mind. I bow my head to Dune. Then I create the Sonoran Death Worm.

NOON - Damn folks over at Apocalypse Weird say they're doing a cookbook. Whatever? Now I have to come up with a recipe. Luckily I have one handy. Chupacabra-stuffed Clams. Wrote and email, attached it and sent it out. Now to find lunch.

1 PM - Ate a Shrimp Burrito. Had to change shirts. Thought about the giant windmills near Palm Springs. Wondered if anyone is cruscified on them? Wondered if they were if anyone would notice?

2 PM - I require more blood. For a book about cutters and self-mutilaters, there isn't enough blood. Time to flip the novel and change the reality. Now my blood runneth over. I think I'm going to hell. I giggle as I respond to an email from my agent.

3 PM - Doorbell rings. Wine delivery. A box from Club W. I unpack the wine, put it in my winerack, and place a bottle of Little Sur Chardonnay in the fridge to cool. Then I remember I forgot to give my main character extra razor blades.

4 PM - Jesus Christ on a Pogo Stick! I've been on Facebook for the last hour. Where did the time go? You were supposed to be writing, you knucklehead! All I know is that even with a face full of dirt and blood Charlize Theron is hot, puppies like trampolines, don't ride your bike off the roof into the pool, and there should never be any memes ever about the People of Walmart.

5PM - To make up for the distractions I destroyed an entire town. Sonoran Death Worms and giant

crows are even now consuming the populace in great greedy gulps. Children are running, screaming down the street. Houses are on fire. Men and women are being cut in half, chewed up, and spit out. I find myself singing the theme song from Sesame Street and laughing. Oh Joy! This is what it means to be a writer.

6 PM - I do Yoga, then chase it with some Chardonnay. I sit outside afterward watching the sunset and wondering if I've killed enough people. Part of me wants to go kill more.

7PM - I'm chopping onions and crying. Robert Irving is screaming at some poor southern couple on television because they have no idea how to run a restuarant. My iPad is open before me. I've gone back to kill more people. Blood runs in the streets. Now that the death toll feels appropriate, I think I can make Lamb Marquez Sausage Pasta for dinner now.

9PM - Damn bottle of wine had a hole in it. Throw away the empty and get another.

10 PM - I stand in the backyard screaming, Unleash the Dog's of War into the starry night. My neighbor shouts for me to shut up. I scream back at him like a mad man. I am the conqueror worm. I am the devourer of worlds. Nothing can stand in my way.

10:01PM - My wife calls me back inside.

11PM - I'm in bed. The walls are slightly swimming, my stomach is a bit uneasy, but I smile, knowing that I've destroyed enough for this day and that what's left can be destroyed tomorrow.

1101PM - I dream of unicorns farting rainbows. All is right with the universe until tomorrow I start all over.

If you're interested in getting Red Palm for the introductory price of 99 cents, you can grab it here.